And now, I wait.
When the head proctor called time this afternoon, the entire room broke into applause, and even our normally stoic proctor had to crack a smile. She let us blow off a little steam, then continued with her closing instructions. A few moments later, I was free to go.
Those first few moments after the exam I was so overwhelmed I didn't even know it. I was drained and exhausted - too spent even to realize that I was done. When I called my mother, she kept trying to get me to say I felt good about it, but I wouldn't, couldn't commit. It's all out of my hands, but neither do I want to tempt fate.
In the meantime, a few reflections from my week here in Oakland:
1. Bad fashion knows no bounds. I understand that we are taking an excruciating exam and that we are stuck in a convention center, cattle-style, for six hours a day. Still, I find that no excuse to wear velour sweatsuits, even if they do say "Juicy" on the butt. Even if someone spent hundreds of dollars on her velour outfit, she's still wearing sweatpants. In public. People can, and should, do better than that.
2. Oakland is the city in which to take the bar. The convention center is located downtown, right in the middle of plenty of places to eat and places to stay. When I took the BarBri MBE in Boston, the test was at the Boston World Trade Center, which is located next to nothing. Nothing. The Massachusetts bar at least permits its applicants to bring food into the exam (California's does not), but if given the option, I'd want to get away from test site during lunch. And get away I would, if only to sit in my hotel room for an hour and a half to veg. At dinner I'd collect with my friends in the lobby of my hotel and walk to one of any number of fun places to eat. (Tonight, Thai. YUM.) I even found the time to run (are you surprised?), and the hotel staff directed me to a lovely lake just a five minutes' run away. So if you're taking the California bar, and you want to use your laptop, take it in Oakland. (There's even a grocery store next to the test site. I got a fridge for my room and stocked it full of fresh veggies.)
3. There's value to registering early. I registered not four hours after registration was available, and as a result I was seated in the very front row. I took the test in a 48,000 sq.-ft. room with what must have been 1,000 other applicants, but for all I knew I had only a Marine on my right and a Boaltie on my left. Never was I distracted by applicants who cut out of the MBE twenty minutes early, never was I bothered by the doofus who'd neglected to download the exam from SofTest and was subsequently running around the 48,000 sq.-ft. room looking for a wireless signal. Didn't see any of that.
4. Post-it flags aren't on the list of items permitted into the test site, but highlighters are, so who's to say that highlighters that come with post-it flags shouldn't be allowed into the test site? I found the flags to be indispensable during the performance tests. Since I was sitting in the very front row, right where the proctors could see me, I doubt that my post-it flags truly were contraband. But just in case, I removed the flags from my test booklet when I handed everything in, and no one was the wiser.
5. The California bar takes its water seriously. We aren't allowed water in the testing room, but the bar examiners sprang for an endless supply of cooler water that sat right outside the doors. The gaggle of applicants on water breaks did lend to a feeling of collective nursing, but at least we didn't have to wait in line to drink sludge from the water fountain.
6. Take the test with a buddy, if you can. I was supremely fortunate to have both the Captain and Good Neighbor along with me in Oakland. I didn't need much, so two buddies were enough, if only to blow off steam at the end of the day and talk about how the Sox traded Manny this afternoon.
7. When it's over, let it go. We'll see just how good at that I am.
Til next time. Which I hope will not come along.
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Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Stripping away the inessential
In her much-discussed Commencement address at Harvard this June, J.K. Rowling submitted that a mere seven years after her own college graduation, she was the biggest failure she knew. She was jobless, a lone parent, and "as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless." While she was careful not to glamorize her poverty, she maintained nonetheless that her failure had benefited her by stripping away the inessential. She stopped trying to be what other people wanted her to be, and she began, in earnest, the only work that mattered to her.
Tomorrow I will begin what I hope will be my last meeting ever with the California state bar examiners. After two long days, the third day is a test as much of my endurance as it is of my legal knowledge. This entire exam, in a sense, has been a stripping away of the inessential. No more fretting, no more wondering - nothing but me and my opportunity to show just how much I want it.
One day more.
Tomorrow I will begin what I hope will be my last meeting ever with the California state bar examiners. After two long days, the third day is a test as much of my endurance as it is of my legal knowledge. This entire exam, in a sense, has been a stripping away of the inessential. No more fretting, no more wondering - nothing but me and my opportunity to show just how much I want it.
One day more.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Earthquake
Yikes.
One hour ago, LA had a 5.4 magnitude earthquake. No reports of major injury or damage have been reported as of yet, but it hit at 11:42am, i.e., during the third essay. The Captain and I are lucky to be in Oakland which is far, far away from LA, but our pal the Mad Dog is in LA and he's kinda jumpy overall. So we're feeling for our SoCal bar applicants today. Send them good thoughts - they need them more than the rest of us.
One hour ago, LA had a 5.4 magnitude earthquake. No reports of major injury or damage have been reported as of yet, but it hit at 11:42am, i.e., during the third essay. The Captain and I are lucky to be in Oakland which is far, far away from LA, but our pal the Mad Dog is in LA and he's kinda jumpy overall. So we're feeling for our SoCal bar applicants today. Send them good thoughts - they need them more than the rest of us.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Live-blogging the Captain's arrival
3:52PM PDT: The Captain finally - after two failed attempts where he actually got on planes and then had to get off - got a flight out of New York. According to delta.com, he's supposed to arrive in Salt Lake by 8:30PM MDT. Keep your fingers crossed that that happens because the last flight out of Salt Lake to Oakland is at 9:15PM MDT. One nice thing about delta.com is that they have a nifty flight tracker where you can see where the flight is along a map. Right now, he's somewhere above the Great Lakes.
As for me, I've been in Oakland nearly four hours but I have yet to do any studying. I have instead, among other things, watched a good portion of the late Prof. Pausch's "Last Lecture." (If you haven't seen it yet, it is worth a look. It's a bit long, so to fellow bar applicants I recommend watching it in portions.) As I watch it, I can't help but feel enormous, vicarious pride because Prof. Pausch also graduated from Brown and he seems never to have given up the fearless creativity and courage that so defined my undergraduate education. That inspires me. Even though creativity should not be on my agenda at the moment, I'm still excited for what lies beyond the next four days. There is a world of possibility out there and I cannot wait to be reacquainted with it.
In the meantime, time to start taking care of "the matter at hand."
6:29PM PDT: Delta Flight 141 is flying over Wyoming, which borders Utah. I just checked the weather forecast, however, and there are rainstorms over Salt Lake so don't get your hopes up. As for me, I'm still tired and cranky.
7:35PM PDT: He's touched down in Salt Lake! Even better, he was seated in business class so he got to have dinner. That's good because there's not much for food at the motel. Small victories.
8:29PM PDT: His flight from Salt Lake has taken off! Cautious optimism, people. As an illustrative analogy: it's the top of the eighth at Fenway and the Sox are up 9-2. Xavier Nady just hit into a double play. But are we going to call it a game? NO.
8:45PM PDT: Top of the ninth, Timlin on the mound. Now we can call it a game.
10:15PM PDT: LANDED!!! He will be arriving to the motel shortly. Thank goodness. And good night.
As for me, I've been in Oakland nearly four hours but I have yet to do any studying. I have instead, among other things, watched a good portion of the late Prof. Pausch's "Last Lecture." (If you haven't seen it yet, it is worth a look. It's a bit long, so to fellow bar applicants I recommend watching it in portions.) As I watch it, I can't help but feel enormous, vicarious pride because Prof. Pausch also graduated from Brown and he seems never to have given up the fearless creativity and courage that so defined my undergraduate education. That inspires me. Even though creativity should not be on my agenda at the moment, I'm still excited for what lies beyond the next four days. There is a world of possibility out there and I cannot wait to be reacquainted with it.
In the meantime, time to start taking care of "the matter at hand."
6:29PM PDT: Delta Flight 141 is flying over Wyoming, which borders Utah. I just checked the weather forecast, however, and there are rainstorms over Salt Lake so don't get your hopes up. As for me, I'm still tired and cranky.
7:35PM PDT: He's touched down in Salt Lake! Even better, he was seated in business class so he got to have dinner. That's good because there's not much for food at the motel. Small victories.
8:29PM PDT: His flight from Salt Lake has taken off! Cautious optimism, people. As an illustrative analogy: it's the top of the eighth at Fenway and the Sox are up 9-2. Xavier Nady just hit into a double play. But are we going to call it a game? NO.
8:45PM PDT: Top of the ninth, Timlin on the mound. Now we can call it a game.
10:15PM PDT: LANDED!!! He will be arriving to the motel shortly. Thank goodness. And good night.
Mnfsouyre - UPDATED, again!
It is 5:11am. I am at my gate at Logan and already people are yakking away on their cellphones. At FIVE IN THE MORNING. What could people possibly have to talk about at five in the morning? Even with the 24 hour news cycle, it's Sunday. There aren't any markets open, anywhere.
(As you can see, I am thrilled to be up at this hour on my way to the bar. My flight doesn't even board for another hour and a half. Usually I'd blame the Captain and how he's inherited his father's 'Get to the airport eight hours in advance' gene, but this time I can't lay the blame on genetics. No, I lay the blame on a cab company that actually showed up when we called them, a highway completely free of traffic, a checked bag that came in just under the weight limit, and a security check that I'm not sure even happened it was so fast. Who knew.)
And so begins the end. When I got up this morning I looked at my BarBri books and thought, "How weird it will be to come home and throw all these out." Because everyday for the last three, arguably four, years has led up to this. Three years, $140,000, the same five pounds gained and lost and gained (and hopefully lost) again - it's all led up to this exam.
Bring it.
UPDATE: And we're off to a fantastic start. After I spilled Dunkin' Donuts all down my front I went to the bathroom to try to mitigate the damages. Now I have a huge wet spot in the middle of my chest. That's cool.
UPDATED, AGAIN! I am in Oakland! But the Captain is not. We didn't get the same flight out here because of logistical reasons, and somehow my flight made it out of Boston just fine but his had some trouble. So he missed his connection when he got to New York, and there he is still even after numerous attempts to get him to California. We're hoping he'll make it to Oakland by this evening, but even if he doesn't, there's still all day tomorrow. It's a big cramp in the studying, but snafus such as this are why we planned to get here two days in advance, anyway.
Nice to see things are going to plan.
(As you can see, I am thrilled to be up at this hour on my way to the bar. My flight doesn't even board for another hour and a half. Usually I'd blame the Captain and how he's inherited his father's 'Get to the airport eight hours in advance' gene, but this time I can't lay the blame on genetics. No, I lay the blame on a cab company that actually showed up when we called them, a highway completely free of traffic, a checked bag that came in just under the weight limit, and a security check that I'm not sure even happened it was so fast. Who knew.)
And so begins the end. When I got up this morning I looked at my BarBri books and thought, "How weird it will be to come home and throw all these out." Because everyday for the last three, arguably four, years has led up to this. Three years, $140,000, the same five pounds gained and lost and gained (and hopefully lost) again - it's all led up to this exam.
Bring it.
UPDATE: And we're off to a fantastic start. After I spilled Dunkin' Donuts all down my front I went to the bathroom to try to mitigate the damages. Now I have a huge wet spot in the middle of my chest. That's cool.
UPDATED, AGAIN! I am in Oakland! But the Captain is not. We didn't get the same flight out here because of logistical reasons, and somehow my flight made it out of Boston just fine but his had some trouble. So he missed his connection when he got to New York, and there he is still even after numerous attempts to get him to California. We're hoping he'll make it to Oakland by this evening, but even if he doesn't, there's still all day tomorrow. It's a big cramp in the studying, but snafus such as this are why we planned to get here two days in advance, anyway.
Nice to see things are going to plan.
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